


i shouldn't hope to know, but here i stand

by Magepaw



Category: Granblue Fantasy (Video Game)
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Bittersweet Ending, Bugs & Insects, Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Empath, Gen, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Musical Instruments, Possibly Unrequited Love, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:14:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24502969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magepaw/pseuds/Magepaw
Summary: "First a trail of ants got me into debt. Then I shelled peanuts and flew on a shark that breathed fire. A wrong actor in a theatre troupe told me how to find the rainbow, but I'm still looking.""Um, I don't…" Elta started, then stopped. "Are you telling me sharks can fly? The big m-monsters with all the rows of teeth?!""Yes. I fed him grapes and bean cakes and he was my friend," Sariel explained helpfully.
Relationships: Belial/Sariel (Granblue Fantasy), Caro/Elta (Granblue Fantasy)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 36





	i shouldn't hope to know, but here i stand

**Author's Note:**

>   
>  ~~op is back to writing wistful one-sided pining and poetic allusions to death again, as expected~~~   
> 
> 
> just a small cross-fate drabble! ships are possibly unrequited; references spoilers for 000/maydays as well as song of serpent island/together in song but if you're here you already know what i'm talking about :) [title](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPG9CUkj5wY); sort of a companion fic to [this](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24745546) which is why the titles match :3c

Sariel held his hand perfectly still and dared not breathe. Blue eyes peered wide at the curious insect laboriously climbing its way across his fingers. It looked to be a stick at first glance, long and thin and brown, but when he plucked it from the tree bark, six long legs waved back at him in protest. He found himself inexplicably fond of it. It had no wings to fly away with, nor any sting or bite to protect itself. It simply looked like a stick, and that was all it did.

Fascinated, Sariel let the creature calmly climb to the end of his fingers, and back onto the tree where he'd found it. There must be others like it, and he did not want to separate them for long. Martin taught him that biological creatures like sharks needed others of their species to reproduce in order to replace the ones whose life spans ran out. They did not have cores, and therefore could not regenerate. He wondered how many other twigs he'd passed unwittingly that were living breathing creatures like this one. The entire forest teemed with life.

Sariel's gaze wandered through the trees, studying the way the light passed unevenly through the canopy of leaves, and dappled light and shadow along the tree bark. He liked these woods. There were many different insect species. He liked to identify them in the field guide Azrael had kindly bought for him after he'd admired her ocean knowledge, even if he didn't understand all the words like she did, his eyes sliding uselessly over the longer paragraphs as though the printed letters were nothing more than columns of marching ants. He would get smarter in time, like she had. He had to.

It was quiet here compared to the noise of the tourist beach, and the air smelled of moss and earth, rather than sea salt and sunshine. And the wild monsters were not powerful enough to wound him, and had learned to leave him alone. But he liked the ocean too, when there was less fighting. The sky realm was full of wonders to explore.

Sariel blinked slowly as the sound of music filtered through to his senses. It did not sound like a bird song, or the keen of an early cicada seeking its brethren. The sustained notes were long and low, and sounded strangely… sad. Curiosity piqued, he traipsed silently through the brush, footfalls unusually light for one of his size.

It did not take long to reach a small clearing created by woodcutters, the gentle slope dotted by fresh stumps and a trail back to the nearby village. A brook traced the edge of the clearing, winding its way deeper into the forest. A young skydweller dressed in a long flowing tunic and scarves sat on a tree stump with a large instrument balanced upright between his knees. Sariel did not know the name of it, but he had seen street musicians in Auguste with similar objects, and understood the basic construct of the device.

He watched with interest as the skydweller scraped the bow across the strings to make them vibrate. It was clever. It functioned much the way a grasshopper rasped its leg against its forewings to produce sound, despite having no vocal cords.

The grasshopper noticed his looming shadow, and shrieked at the sight of him. The large instrument thudded to the grass with a discordant note as he jumped on top of his stump, fearful eyes round. It was so easy to startle beings that could die.

"W-w-who are you?! Stay back! Please!"

"Ah, I was only listening…" Sariel explained, holding his empty palms up in a gesture he'd learned was a peaceful one. He could manifest his scythe whenever he wanted to, but he did not want to. He hoped that would be assurance enough of his intentions.

"S-s-sorry! I'm so sorry, that was so rude of me, I saw feathers and thought you were a m-monster," the grasshopper stammered, clambering back down and blushing profusely. "Are you with the crew, too? M, my name is Elta…"

"…Sariel. Not a monster. I am a fallen angel," he stated simply. He was not sure what crew Elta was referring to. Then he remembered the supreme primarch was traveling with a group of skyfarers, and it clicked. "Are you a friend of Sandalphon…?"

It was Elta's turn to look quizzical. "Sand… Wait, isn't that the angel who runs the café? Are you… You're a primarch like him, aren't you? A primal beast?"

Sariel nodded to appease him. He was much taller than this skydweller, and did not want to appear intimidating, so he crouched, hugging his knees to his chest. His long hair pooled around his feet. Elta settled back on his stump and dusted the grass from his instrument, seeming relieved that they were allies.

"Sorry again for shouting. I used to be really afraid of monsters so I'm still a little jumpy," Elta admitted sheepishly. "Well, I mean! M, maybe I still am scared of them, a little. But I've gotten much braver since joining the crew, I promise! I've done incredible things I'd never be able to alone. Like fight a giant snake, the size of a mountain!"

"A serpent," Sariel stated, unblinking eyes focusing on Elta with an unnerving intensity. "Was it okay?"

"Was… was the snake okay?" Elta clarified, tilting his head. Absently he fussed with the pegs on the neck of the instrument, winding them tighter to adjust the tension of the strings. "Well… yes, I suppose so. It was a primal beast. We sang it a lullaby, and it returned to its slumber. It should still be sleeping peacefully right now."

Sariel nodded, satisfied. "Good. I'm glad the snake wasn't hurt," he said solemnly. "I would like to meet it someday."

"It was so scary I almost fell off the airship," Elta laughed nervously. "My legs wouldn't stop shaking! You're braver than me, Sariel. You must have some wild adventure stories, too."

Sariel nodded sagely. "Yes. First a trail of ants got me into debt. Then I shelled peanuts and flew on a shark that breathed fire. A wrong actor in a theatre troupe told me how to find the rainbow, but I'm still looking."

"Um, I don't…" Elta started, then stopped. "Are you telling me sharks can fly? The big m-monsters with all the rows of teeth?!"

"Yes. I fed him grapes and bean cakes and he was my friend," Sariel explained helpfully. "Why do you make music by yourself? Was that the snake's lullaby?"

"I, um," Elta stammered, thrown by the shift in topic. He glanced down at his instrument, then back at Sariel, a little helpless. "No, it's not. I was only practicing, and I didn't want to bother anyone on the ship or in town, so I thought out here would be fine…"

"It doesn't bother me. It sounded like a lonely song, so I followed it to see where it was going," Sariel said.

"It's…" Elta's blush spread to his ears, but he managed to maintain his composure.

Sariel watched the color change with rapt interest. Azrael said the octopus could change color, but she did not mention that skydwellers could as well.

"…I like to play happy music, for other people," Elta said haltingly. "I want to bring people hope when I perform, light to their darkness, and help to heal their hearts when they're hurting. But… sometimes I need to express myself, too. And that's not always happy. So I make music just for myself, when I don't have an audience."

Sariel considered this. "When grasshoppers and cicadas make songs, it's because they are alone and want to call others to them," he pointed out. "Do you want me to stay with you?"

Elta gave him a lopsided smile. "Sure," he agreed readily. "I guess your song must match up with mine, then, if you came to my call."

Sariel frowned. "I do not have a song," he corrected. "I do not have my wings, and my wings are not insect wings, so…"

Elta shook his head vigorously. "No, everyone has a song! It's not like – you might not _sing_ , or have an instrument, but… all hearts have a melody. I believe that. When you resonate with someone else, it's because you're in tune!" Excited, his hands fluttered in the air, trying to grasp at something intangible between them. "I met a famous harpist who gave me these strings, and she even knows how to tune peoples' melodies to match her own – and I'm nowhere near that talented, but still, she was right! I think there's a reason you came here, Sariel."

"A reason…" Sariel repeated softly. He looked down at his hands. "I am trying to find someone I lost. For my core to resonate… I have a song that helps me understand others…?"

"You do," Elta said firmly. He grabbed Sariel's hands and squeezed them, smiling brightly.

"How do I hear it?" Sariel asked in a small voice. "How do I know it's there at all?"

"Um… that's kind of harder to put into words– wait, here, why don't you try!"

Elta pulled Sariel to the stump and bade him to sit. He slouched obediently, awaiting further instruction. Elta pushed the instrument into position and balanced it against Sariel's long legs, who stared at it blankly. When Elta nodded encouragingly, Sariel ran one experimental finger delicately along the length of the cord, tracing the shape of it.

It looked a lot more complicated up close. He was not built with this knowledge. His heart sank, realizing he would be slow to learn this function, if he could at all.

"Like this," Elta showed him, plucking one string. A rich bass note reverberated in the air. Sariel started upright. This close, he could feel the vibration physically, like – like sensing the aura of a fellow primal, but activating a different receptor entirely. He had always been sensitive, for better or for worse. Elta grinned knowingly. "See? You can play it with just your fingers! Or you can use the bow— place your left hand on the fingerboard here, to change the pitch, then your right hand goes like this, hold it at a right angle— keep your elbow still, move your wrist instead—"

Sariel moved awkwardly with the instructions, long limbs uncoordinated in the way Elta's were. He managed to make sound by scraping the bow where he was told to, although the shaky screech could hardly be considered musical. It was more like a cicada's keening wail, thrumming in the air with no one to answer it.

His notes were discordant, jumbled up, but – perhaps that was simply what his song sounded like. Not all of his notes were there.

Elta beamed at him as though he'd just performed a masterpiece. "Isn't it fun to try something new, just for yourself? It doesn't have to be good, when it's not for other people. It helps calm me down to remember that."

Sariel passed the instrument back to Elta, nodding in solemn thanks. He wasn't sure if he liked music yet, but he didn't dislike it. It was something new. He might try it again.

"Now it's my turn," Elta flourished the bow grandly.

Sariel watched from his seat as Elta's demeanor shifted. The skydweller's eyes closed, and he began to hum as his bow flashed back and forth, slow and steady at first, then picking up speed, fingers dancing along the top with unfailing accuracy. It was the wistful soaring melody that Sariel had heard snatches of through the trees, now performed with the confidence born of countless hours of practice. Elta's tenor sang high and clear along with it, transforming his body into an extension of the instrument.

Something in Sariel's chest fluttered, and stirred, and ached, and – perhaps this music had a curious effect on primal beasts, or perhaps it was the resonance that Elta had spoken of. It hurt. It hurt a lot. It reminded him of the hands that had wrenched his wings from his back, ruining him and saving him in the same brutal act.

It reminded him that he was still alive now, even if there was no reason for him to be.

Sariel dared not move an inch until it was over. When Elta fell silent and looked at his audience of one, Sariel merely stared back, eyes wide and shining wetly. Elta looked a little flustered when Sariel said nothing at all, and rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassment tingeing his cheeks pink again as he spoke up.

"There is… someone whose heart I resonated with. His music is so… I've never felt more in tune with someone in my whole entire life," Elta said, softly. "Ah… perhaps you would understand. He is a primal like you… We had an adventure together, a fantastic one I'll never forget! I would have… But… but his body is like fragile glass, and he shattered from his own power, so now…"

"His core survived?" Sariel inquired.

"Yes," Elta swallowed around the lump in his throat. "He sleeps. And I cannot reach him."

Sariel considered this. "Perhaps that is the song that brought me here," he stated. "I cannot reach him until I find the rainbow, and I do not know where to even look. But I want to keep looking. I have never… wanted, before."

"Missing someone is hard," Elta murmured. "There's a weight in my chest that doesn't go away. Playing this song – _his_ song – makes me feel lighter again. Like some part of him is still with me. Like he can hear me, somehow. Even if that's childish of me to believe…"

"He's your grasshopper," Sariel stated matter-of-factly.

"He's my… what?" Elta asked helplessly, but Sariel did not elaborate.

"Won't you be there when he wakes up?"

Elta laughed bitterly. "I don't live for centuries like you primals do! I'll be a very old man in a hundred years' time, and it will likely take hundreds more than that. Maybe it will be his turn to visit my grave, after all the times I've visited his."

"Perhaps he will play that song for you, then," Sariel commented. "To keep part of you with him."

Elta's smile wobbled and finally dropped. His eyes gleamed a little too bright, and he turned quickly, hiding his face in his sleeve. His shoulders hitched in a sob, though he muffled it as best he could.

Sariel understood.

Skydweller life spans were short but vibrant, like the butterflies that burst into dazzling color and then fall back to the earth as empty husks, like the cicadas that emerged from their final molt to sing and spawn and die. The finality of death gave their lives meaning. By comparison, primals were like the trees rooted around them, steady fixtures watching the smaller creatures rise and fall around them, season after season, drifting ever onward into an unceasing future.

Sariel would likely never see Elta again, and neither would his primal companion.

"I do not know why I am alive," Sariel admitted. "I do not know if there is any place for me in these skies. I am trying to find out. It may take me hundreds of years or more. I may never know."

Sensing that there was nothing more for Elta to say to him, Sariel rose slowly. Elta did not move from where he had buried his face in his hands, shoulders shaking. Sariel supposed there was some skydweller custom for comfort, but he was not sure how to act in this situation, and kept his hands limp at his sides.

"If I happen to meet your musician someday, your grasshopper, then I will tell him about today. I will tell him Elta was kind to me," Sariel said quietly, looking up at the vast blue sky. "I will tell him to sing for you."

Sariel was still alive, and so he could continue searching for the deputy head, and make that his purpose. But if there was no chance to ever see him again, he wondered what he would do. The other angels were all trying new things, starting new lives like skydwellers, and Sariel did not know how to join them. He was missing pieces still. There were not many who understood him, even among the angels, and less still willing to try. He wondered if Uriel was disappointed in him like Sandalphon was. They did not understand the feeling of resonance he was still trying to find. But it was alright, because he was doing this for himself. They didn't have to understand.

Sariel let his gaze drop down to his feet. There, marching steadily along a path of their own, crept a trail of black ants. Sariel smiled softly and followed.

**Author's Note:**

>   
>  [pushes the instrument into his hands](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18673351)  
> 


End file.
